Going back to school was no easy matter. I went back and forth with myself for years, I even went and signed up for a class in 2013 just to see if I really wanted to go back but I got scared when I was told by an advisor that none of my classes from the online college I went to in 2008 would transfer over, hearing that made me so mad that I didn’t attend the class I signed up for. I was too worried about starting over and the two years it would take to finish that I psyched myself out. In 2016 I was so over my dead end jobs and part time this and that. I was working two part time jobs that still wasn’t adding up to full time hours so I took my behind to the registration office of my local community college and I signed up for three classes. I wanted to start off slow but I wanted to make sure that this is what I really wanted so I signed up for all major related classes, no basics like English or math.
Fast forward to August of 2019 and I’ve just finished my two summer classes (literally yesterday) and I am feeling to uninspired to even finish my degree. I have had this feeling for a while which is why I opted out of the three semesters prior to taking summer classes. I told myself I just needed a break, and three semesters later I talked myself into just finishing, I mean at this point I’m more then half way done so why not? I have always wrestled with what I wanted to be when I grew up but I always had my three favorites, a hairdresser, a writer and a nurse. I loved getting my hair done when I was younger, my grandma use to wash and press my hair in her kitchen almost every Sunday, when she was done I would sit in the mirror and spin around just to watch my hair fly all over my head. I remember telling my grandma that I wanted to make girls hair pretty the same way she made mines pretty. As I got older and being as though I had a child to support I didn’t think being a hairdresser was the best idea I mean lets be honest when times get hard people cut out the things they need the least. Writing was like my best friend growing up, I used to read books then rewrite the endings that I didn’t like. I also wrote poems and short stories that I used to pass around to classmates in high school. But I was no English major and when I wrote a story it was mostly me jotting down all the things that was in my head I didn’t need any commas or proper sentence formations. Writing was fun for me and doing it professionally would open me up to critics that would pick my work apart and end my love for sharing my stories. I found my love of nursing when I use to go with my aunt to work on take your daughter to work days, I loved watching her interactions with her patients and all the kindness everyone showed her, in my eyes she had the best job. At the time in my life that I wanted to go to school for nursing I couldn’t find any schools with classes that would work around my daughters schedule, and all the classes I did find was campus based (no online) so I settled for Human Services instead. I figured if I stayed with something in the medical field that I would later on be able to switch over to nursing with no problems.
So my dilemma is whether I should finish my degree and continue to rack up student loans on something I no longer feel inspired towards or if I should start all over with the career I really wanted to do in the first place. I know that both careers are very rewarding but I also feel that if I don’t go after the career I really want I will never be happy in any job.
Thanks in advance for taking the time to read my thoughts.